Finktoons

Archive for January, 2011

Harsh Realization

While traveling through Mississippi recently I was forced to come to terms with something I have dismissed in the past, that I am prejudice…

Against people who wear cowboy boots.

On the flight from Houston to Jackson, MS no less than half the plane was cowboy boot clad. And all I could think about was how these people were heading home to lynch their neighbors and rape their cattle. I know you’re supposed to be open minded and that you shouldn’t judge people by their appearance, but when I see cowboy boots on anybody not riding a horse my first instinct is to run screaming in the opposite direction. Sad, but true. Now that I have admitted I have a problem, I am on the road to recovery.

Also Jon Daly’s (the comedian, not to be confused with the fat, drunk, country singing John Daly) Bill Cosby Bukowski is amazing!

posted by Tyler in General and have Comments (5)

DAMN FINE TELEVISION

Just rewatched the first couple episodes of ‘The Larry Sanders Show,’ for the first time in like 15 years. If you’ve never seen this, it’s an amazing show from the early 90′s that aired on HBO with Garry Shandling, Rip Torn, and that one dude who plays the dad on Arrested Development. If you have Netflix, you can watch it instantley online. If you don’t, get your hands on this somehow because it’s truly amazing, super funny, totally pioneering television. Take our word for it, this shit is the bees balls.

The show is about a fictional late night talk show host, kind of like Jay Leno, only he’s supposed to be funny and, like, have a soul or something.  Watching it actually got me thinking about the whole Leno/O’brien fuckfest-fiasco, which if you don’t know all the details, is a totally wack and truly amazing piece of TV history, and it will actually teach you a lot about how the world works.  Read about it here. Now.

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HEARTS OF DANKNESS

Just watched Hearts of Darkness, the documentary about Coppala making Apocalypse Now. Francis Ford Coppala is a fucking crazy person. Go check this movie out if you can, it will inspire you to own and abuse slaves in the name of your art. Wild. And Dennis Hopper was the craziest acid casualty of all time.

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TEENAGE GOODNESS

Mike Mottz is manning the controls over at the finktoons facebook page.  I don’t know where he finds this shit.

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HOW ‘BOUT THEM GREEN HORNETS?

I’m a fan of Michel Gondry and Seth Rogen and all of their collective endeavors. I was very excited to see the Green Hornet in theaters even though I knew beyond my better judgement that it looked pretty shitty. Anyway I didn’t have time/any of my reasonable friends that were down to go see it with me, so I watched it, ridden with guilt, illegally online whilst editing a new FINKTOONS skit. Suffice to say, it was kind of a letdown. So much of a letdown that I’m offering this link to watch a totally legit copy of it online for free to all you donkeys and donkettes out there in cartoon land, because I sincerely don’t want you to waste your money. Enjoy. (You won’t).

WATCH THE GREEN HORNET RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!

make sure to close the little advertisement window first :)

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FIND TYLERS WALLET!!!!!

Hey world. Tragic news today, Tyler lost his wallet in the mission district of our fine city of San Francisco, CA. The bummer is that there was about $600 bucks in it at the time that it disappeared. This is kind of a landmark event because I don’t think anyone at Finktoons has ever, ever had $600 in their wallet at any time in their lives, possibly even in their bank accounts. But Tyler has an addiction to tattoos and had pulled the cash out to get a new one tomorrow. It was probably gonna’ be something punk. So anyway, if you find a dirty black wallet with a shitload of cash in it and cards with pictures of Tyler on ‘em, email us. brandon@macaframa.com

Sorry Tyler. That fucking blows.

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SKETCHINESS IN BACK TO THE FUTURE 3

Weird looking Damion/Omen kid acting like a future pedophile in BTTF3. Pretty funny

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Tyler’s Top 10 Albums of 2010

Does the world need another year end review list? No. Will that prevent me from shoving another music related Top Ten list down your gullets? No.

While we are primarily about humor and cartoons  here (and apparently football too from what the other tools on here keep posting), music is definitely a big deal at Finktoons HQ. With that in mind I would like to give you my top ten albums of 2010 (plus some bonus lists for your pleasure). Please keep in mind that I was a professional music journalist/critic, so my opinion does matter more than yours.

Top Ten Albums 2010 (No particular order)

The Gaslight Anthem – American Slang

I know, I know this album in on a million shitty/trendy year end lists by douche bag music journalists who think Kanye, Vampire Weekend and the National are the second coming of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, but the fact remains this is an excellent album. I loved their previous releases (Sink or Swim and The ’59 Sound) and therefore had extremely high expectations for this album, and while it might not have been everything I hoped, it’s still damn good. Catchy, anthemic, solid lyrics, punk rock attitude…what more do you want.

Superchunk – Majesty Shredding

After an obscenely long “hiatus”, the kings of 90s “indie rock” return to form with “Majestry Shredding”. Nothing fancy, just Mac McCaughan and co. blasting out some awesomely catchy, guitar buzzing, beautiful indie rock. Take note future rock starts, writing good songs trumps all media hype and publicity stunts and no amount of twitter followers can mask the fact your music blows goats.

Iron Chich – Not Like This

Be warned, if you listen to this album the songs will bore themselves into your brain and never come out. Ex-Latterman and Ex-Small Arms Dealer join forces to produce the best gruffy voice, alcohol fueled, sing-a-long pop-punk album of the year. This is my jam!

Nails – Unsilent Death

BRUTAL. Simply BRUTAL. Ex-Terror guitarist strikes out on his own to produce one of the best hardcore/grindcore hybrid albums. Everything about this band is intense and if you’re not careful the breakdowns will cave in your skull. For fans of Entombed, Drop Dead, Pig Destroyer and Napalm Death all being thrown in a blender and pressed on vinyl. Fuck, Rob Moran from Unbroken likes this so it must be good.

Everyone Everywhere – “S/T”

I present to you exhibit “A” in my all music trends go in circles theory. Here is an amazing album by a bunch of young whipper snappers that so closely channels Promise Ring and early Piebald it almost makes me cry like I did when I was in high school and girls were ignoring me. Prehistoric emo kids take note.

Kvelertak – “S/T”

What happens when you mix Turbonegro with black metal and sing only in Norwegian? …Um, I’m waiting for an answer… Come on people, work with me here! Honestly, if you can’t piece together the fact I am alluding to this awesome album by a band you can’t pronounce, then you’ve got bigger problems and need to stop wasting your time reading year end “best of” lists.

Someone Still Love you Boris Yeltsin -  “Let it Sway”

Pure, unadulterated, pop gold. This shit is so catchy it hurts. If you have a tendency to tap your foot to good, poppy, music be warned this album will probably give you shin splints.

Ceremony- Rohnert Park/ Trash Talk – Eyes and Nines

Wait…two albums, WTF? I know, I know I am cheating but both these albums slay and represent some of the best the hardcore world had to offer in 2010. Both are pushing the boundaries of the genre (Ceremony more so) and both bands put on some of the best live performances out there today. Plus, they both do the screamy-fast hardcore thing really really well, so there they belong together.

Masshysteri – “S/T”

Ex members of T(I)NC and The Vicious churning out amazing retro-77’/garage-y style pop-punk. Dual male/female vocals and a lo-fi sound are icing on this punk rock masterpiece. Think Gorilla Angreb with more punk attitude. Plus, it’s all in Swedish so you don’t need to learn the lyrics to look cool in front of your friends.

Menzingers – Chamberlain Waits

Really well crafted, heartfelt and catchy punk rock. Fist pumping, beer drinking, sing-a-long laden glory through and through. For punks who wear their hearts on their sleeves and their hair on their faces (and necks).

Honorable mentions

  • None More Black – Icons
  • The Dopamines – Expect the Worst
  • Black Breath – Heaving Breathing
  • RVIVR – LP
  • Hellmouth – Destroy Everything, Worship Nothing
  • Ted Leo – The Brutalist Bricks

Top 4 Eps/7”/splits

1.  Know Your Saints – Escape Artist EP – Best new band of 2010!

2. RVIVR – Dirty Water EP – It’s the best thing RVIVR has put out and that is saying a lot.

3. Tigers Jaw/Balance and Composure – Split 12” – Both bands put some great stuff on this release, but the Tigers Jaw stuff is next level.

4. Maker/Story So Far – Split 7” – Straight up guilty pleasure pop-punk, but good none the less.

Top 5 Shows of 2010

1.  Sleep @ Regency Ballroom – September 12, 2010

2.  Soviettes and Cheap Girls @ Triple Rock Social Club (Minneapolis, MN) – November 12, 2010

3.  Kind of Like a Fest (Shook Ones, Seahaven, Black Breath, Make Do and Mend etc.) @Half Moon Bay Center – August 7, 2010

4. Filth @ Thee Parkside – June 6, 2010

5.  Banner Pilot/Teenage Bottle Rocket @ Bottom on the Hill July 16, 2010

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JASON ROSETE: SAN FRANCISCO’S NEW KING OF DILDOS

Yes it’s true folks, our little boy Jason is finally growing up, and he finally got a job.  At…a dildo factory.  For real.  Here is the proof, Jason laying under my coffee table, and a bunch of dildos, smiling like a little dildo-baby.

Happy new years!

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THE WORST OF 2010

Hey all you rock-n-roll cockknockers in cartoon-landia para los gringos.   Happy new years!  We here at Finktoons are legally obligated to pretend that we hope you all had an awesome New Years, and a great time getting drunk and shoving cocaine up your noses till six in the morning as the year and decade passed from midnight into obscurity.

Anyway, here is the WINNER for WORST THING THAT HAPPENED IN 2010!!!! This beats anything terrible that happened over the year-it literally kicks the Haitian earthquake in the jimmies right into the land of who gives a shit.  And here it is:

(drumroll)

AND THE WINNER IS:

TRON LEGACY.

No explanation needed.  But man, another way to rape my childhood’s mouth right in the face.

Alright!  See ya later!

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